From the Green Pastures of North Dakota

Why Cowboy Dan got fired from his volunteer gig at Leisure Hills

It was entertainment night at Leisure Hills, and Cowboy Dan was performing. He had been working on a hypnotist routine for a couple days and decided there was no time like the present to try it out. Plus, with a room full of Itasca County's most elderly and senile residents as an audience, he could work out some of the kinks in his unperfected act.

Now Cowboy Dan doesn't do anything small, so he made an announcement to the crowded room. "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up to the front of the room to be put into a trance, I will be hypnotizing each and every member of the audience - AT THE SAME TIME!"

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique Grain Belt bottle cap from his pocket. "I want you all to keep your eyes on this antique bottle cap. It's a very special bottle cap. It's been in my family for 3 generations."

He began to swing the bottle cap gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the cap, watch the cap, watch the cap..."

The crowd of geezers was mesmerized as the bottle cap swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its golden and red surface.

Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying cap until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, and rolled down a drain in the corner..........

"SHIT!" said Cowboy Dan...

It took three days to clean up the Leisure Hills events room.

Halloween Jokes

Why don't witches have babies? Because Warlocks have hollow weenies.

Why don't witches have babies? Because their husbands have crystal balls.

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin' goblin