From the Green Pastures of North Dakota

What do the Vikings and Billy Graham have in common?
They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ"!

Where do you go in Minneapolis in case of a tornado?
To the Metrodome - there's never a touchdown there!

Why doesn't St. Paul have a professional football team?
Because then Minneapolis would want one

What's the difference between the Vikings and a dollar bill?
You can still get four quarters out of a dollar

How many Vikings does it take to win a Superbowl?
Nobody knows!

A GUY GOES TO A SUPERMARKET AND NOTICES A BEAUTIFUL BLOND WAVE AT HIM AND SAY'S HELLO.

HE'S RATHER TAKEN ABACK, BECAUSE HE CAN'T PLACE WHERE HE KNOWS HER FROM, SO HE SAYS, "DO YOU KNOW ME?" TO WHICH SHE REPLIES, "I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS."

NOW HE THINKS BACK TO THE ONLY TIME HE HAS EVER BEEN UNFAITHFUL TO HIS WIFE AND SAYS, "MY GOD, ARE YOU THE STRIPPER FROM MY BACHELOR PARTY THAT I LAID ON THE POOL TABLE WITH ALL MY BUDDIES WATCHING, WHILE YOUR PARTNER WHIPPED MY ASS WITH WET CELERY AND THEN STUCK A CARROT UP MY BUTT?"

SHE SAID, "NO, I'M YOUR SON'S MATH TEACHER".